A How-To Guide to Self-Care

Mar 8, 2019

This past weekend I co-hosted a Vinyasa & Vision Boarding workshop here in Greenville, SC. It included a beautiful yoga flow, an inspiring visual meditation, and the creative time to put in physical form what the women imagined for their life. It was amazing and it was fun for me to see what they each desired to bring to life.

One theme that kept coming up was the idea of “self-care”, and while almost every woman mentioned wanting to incorporate more self-care into her life, she also simultaneously talked about how she doesn’t know where to start. Several months ago, I wrote a post about how to realistically incorporate self-care into your daily life, but today we’re going to break that down even more.

My goal is to make self-care easy and a part of your life. Not an extra effort.

Let’s start by figuring out where all of your time is going. Now, I’m not shaming anyone here. We all have different commitments, job schedules, kids at various ages with their own needs, maybe various businesses that you are involved with, and we all have a house to take care of. Life is busy. I get it. No matter your marital status, job schedule, the amount of laundry, or how many kids you have, I’m going to help you make time for self-care. Here’s the thing, you do have the time. Let’s find it.

A few questions to get you started:

  1. How much television do you watch?
  2. How much time do you spend on social media?
  3. How many commitments have you said “yes” to when you knew “no” was the right answer?
  4. How much stuff do you have that requires upkeep? *going to break this down later*
  5. How easily are you giving your time away?

 

Okay, now that you’ve thought through that, and been honest with yourself, you probably just realized that some time is wasted. Let’s keep it real here. Sometimes you need some tough love, friend. The average American watches 4 hours of television per day. And spends another 2 hours on social media. Um. What? That is staggering. If you don’t believe it, test it out. There’s a feature on your iPhone where you can track how much time you spend on your phone.

If that doesn’t make you want to puke, I’m not sure what will. Ha! Think about how much we’re missing out on by wasting time on our phones. So, to sum it up, you have time for self-care. Now, let’s talk about some examples of self-care that you normally think of:

Self-Care that you normally think of:

  1. Going for a walk.
  2. Reading a book.
  3. Getting a massage.
  4. Getting a manicure + pedicure.
  5. Having a girls night.
  6. Drinking a glass of wine while taking a bubble bath.
  7. Retail therapy.
  8. Going to a yoga class.
  9. Drinking plenty of water.
  10. Vacationing at the beach.

Self-Care that isn’t usually listed:

  1. A morning coffee ritual/routine.
  2. Putting your phone away at a specific time at night.
  3. Taking your phone out of the bedroom.
  4. Putting together an awesome playlist and dancing it out.
  5. Organizing your home.
  6. Cooking.
  7. Cleaning.
  8. Listening to podcasts.
  9. Driving around in your car.
  10. Honoring commitments you made to yourself.

 

Here’s the thing, both of those lists are perfectly fine. YOU, and only you, can decide what feels best. How do you feel nourished? When do you feel the most refreshed?

I’ll be honest, I love cleaning my house. I truly enjoy it. And when my house is clean, I feel the happiest. Well, second to being at the beach. It brings me a stupid amount of joy. Here are some other things:

  1. Having clean sheets.
  2. Grabbing a lavender latte from my favorite coffee shop.
  3. Having a clean car.
  4. KonMari-ing my house – aka, getting super organized and getting rid of crap I no longer need.
  5. Not watching television.
  6. Spending my evenings after dinner rolling around on the floor with my pups.
  7. Taking showers at night.
  8. Margarita dates with my girlfriends.
  9. Listening to books on audio.
  10. Having my morning smoothie.

 

We have to shift our minds around self-care being this lavish thing and remember that it’s all up to us to DECIDE what makes us feel good and then do more of that. And it doesn’t always have to be a spa day. Small things can be self-care. You have to consider those things as self-care because they are you resetting your mind and body. They make you feel cared for and filled up.

How to make time for it:

  1. Limit screen time. Set restrictions on your phone (a how-to guide here).
  2. Limit or eliminate television. Let me just say that not having television (cable or Netflix) is a wonderful thing. We’ve recently gotten rid of it and man, it’s so great to have my evenings to workout, read, shower, and prepare for the next day instead of spending it watching shows until I’m too sleepy to do anything else but go to bed.
  3. Get rid of stuff. Having a lot of stuff means you spend a lot of time keeping up with that stuff. I know it is a process to go through your things and do away with them, but you know as well as I do that the stuff takes up physical and mental space. I’m actually writing a separate post about this (coming soon!) to help you start this process.
  4. Be clear with people about your boundaries. For example, before we eliminated tv, I told my husband that more than one episode was too much and we’d just get sucked into it so we needed to limit it. And then if he wanted to watch more, I could get up and go do something else. It’s your responsibility to take action on your own self-care. Your spouse might enjoy watching tv, but you don’t. Get up. Walk away. Go take care of yourself.
  5. Schedule it. I know this sounds simple, but when you put “read for 30 minutes” in your calendar or you sign up ahead of time for the yoga class, you are holding yourself accountable to achieving that goal.

 

Lastly, if this is something you know you need further help with, let’s work together. Oftentimes, there is a thought pattern happening where you’re essentially telling yourself that you aren’t worthy of self-care and lady, that’s the furthest thing from the truth. Recognize that you matter and it’s okay to focus on you. Book your clarity call to chat with me.

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