My marriage is better than it has ever been. We’re more affectionate, help each other out more, serve each other better now than ever before. Today, I’m going to teach you how to have an amazing marriage.
How to have an amazing marriage.
Now, before I go on, you likely think I’m going to give you ALL the tips on how to change your husband to better serve your marriage. We think that by changing the other person, it will solve everything.
If he helped out around the house more, helped with the kids more, put his laundry in the hamper instead of on the hamper, if he cooked more, or if he didn’t say things that made me feel upset, THEN it would be better…
What if I told you that you could change your marriage by changing your thoughts? What if I told you that your marriage could be completely transformed and your husband could stay the same?
Stay with me…
My marriage is the best it has ever been.
My husband didn’t suddenly become super romantic.
We didn’t start going on more dates.
All of our financial problems were not solved.
No stress was taken away.
It has everything to do with my own mindset. With how I think about myself.
My thoughts changed my marriage.
I do not tell you this from the perspective of someone who has had an easy-going, blissful marriage for almost four years. Nope. Quite the opposite. It has been hard. We’ve wanted to quit. Or maybe I should only speak for myself here. I’ve wanted to quit. Many times.
We’ve had the financial stress, the anxiety of job losses/changes, business trials, the frustrations of splitting household duties, moving, pets getting sick, and all the trials that go along with buying a house. I could go on. Life has happened.
But something shifted in me that changed everything for us.
Changing your mindset:
I started working on myself consistently and believing in myself despite my circumstances. By focusing on my own mindset and paying attention to the thoughts I was repeating over and over, my marriage changed.
When I believe in me, I show up differently. When I prioritize myself, I am less resentful.
We think that it’s always the other person that needs to change in order for us to be happy. What if it’s you? What if YOU changing, changes them? What if YOU changing, changes your relationship?
And what if they could be exactly as they are and you only changed your mindset? What if that transformed your marriage? And then, what if they start changing too?
How to have an amazing marriage: Three steps.
- Notice your thoughts about your husband and your marriage. What plays on repeat in your head?
- What do you WANT to think? What do you wish you thought about your marriage?
- You can think WHATEVER you want about your relationship. You get to choose those thoughts. And from those thoughts, you get new feelings, take different actions, and have better results. It starts in your mind.
- Bonus tip: get to know you. Learn to love you first. Here are some tips on that.
Let’s take it back to the beginning real quick:
Here’s one other thing to chew on. How did you think about your husband when you first started dating?
You might think that I’m brainwashing you into thinking that your husband is great and he doesn’t have to change. But let’s think back… to the beginning, when you DID think he was great, did you feel brainwashed then?
No! Back then you thought he was the most loving, wonderful, sexy, stud of a man you’ve ever met. You felt like a million bucks. You felt light, sexy, confident and you two made out all of the time. The hugs were longer, the phone calls were longer, the dates were exciting, and you could not get enough of him.
What were you thinking then? I want you to remember. If you’re like me, you remember CLEARLY how you felt. You might think now that HE made you feel that way. You’d be wrong. Only YOU can make you feel any type of way. That’s the work here. That’s how you experience transformation.
And that’s how coaching can change your marriage.
Book a clarity call and let’s transform your most precious relationship. From that relationship, so many others are impacted. Make it the very best it can be.
Note: let me add here that if you are in an abusive relationship or are in danger in any way, this is not a situation where you allow their behavior to go on and excuse it. That is an exception. In that situation, please talk to someone and take steps to get out of that. This is for those of you that want a better marriage but don’t know where to start or think that if he changed, it would be better. I promise, there’s hope.